Swinger Rapport
Probably, the most important NLP techniques that swingers can utilize are Rapport Techniques.
These, easy to learn techniques, are about establishing and developing a state of rapport with another person. To understand what is meant by a state of rapport, think about the feelings you get when you and the other people you are communicating with all seem to share the same values and relate to each other with empathy and understanding. The chances of sexually chemistry being developing when people share these things is much higher than when they don’t.
The psychologists who developed NLP techniques started off by carefully observing successful communicators from all walks of life. They noticed how some people seem to have a natural instinct to build rapport and went on to study in detail what these people were doing differently from other people. From the results of the study, the psychologists developed techniques that anyone can learn to use in social and business situations.
It is relatively easy to master the rapport building techniques and you may even recognize some of them as being things you have always done instinctively. Even if you do, NLP will almost certainly help you to improve and provide you with other techniques that you are less familiar with.
The three most important techniques are:
- Mimicking the pattern and rhythm of the other person’s breathing.
- Mirroring their body language. This needs to be done in a subtle and natural way. Being too obvious about it won’t work.
- Listening carefully to what the other people say, their choice of phrases and their vocal tones and levels. Using the same sort of phraseology and vocal tones and levels when you speak.
The problem for most people is that they either continuously talk at the other person or they lose themselves in trying to think of things to say next. The key to overcoming both of these situations is to pay full attention to the people you are communicating with and process exactly what is going on for them.
Communication situations that occur in adult dating and the swinger lifestyle are no different to those found in other aspects of social interaction. So by really listening to other swingers, and applying these techniques you’ll be doing something that most other swingers are failing to do well. When you are really listening to people it puts you in exactly the be in the right frame of mind to able to observe them properly too. This will enable you to spot subtle little body signals and gestures that can be the most important cues to what your next move should be.
Sensory Perception
Everybody has a preferred mode of sensory perception. It is not a conscious thing and most people are completely unaware that it even exists. There are three modes of sensory perception. They can be: Auditory, Kinaesthetic or Visual.
- Auditory People whose preferred mode of sensory perception is auditory tend to use words and phrases that are related to sound. E.g. they are much more likely to choose a phrase like; “That doesn’t sound very good” than; “It doesn’t look too good”.
- Kinaesthetic Someone whose preferred mode of sensory perception is kinaesthetic tends to describe things in terms of feeling or touch. An example would be a phrase like; “I have a bad feeling about that.”
- Visual Those people who have a visual mode sensory perception think and talk about things in visual terms. They are therefore likely to say, “I see” whenever they agree or understand something or say something like; “I can’t see why we should” to indicate their disagreement.
Using knowledge about another swinger’s sensory perception
By listening and observing, you receive the clues you need to tell you which sensory perception mode they prefer. Once you are pretty sure which one it is you start to move into the same mode yourself. For example, when you are talking to someone whose preference seems to be auditory, you choose auditory phrases yourself. Doing so will create rapport with them.
Use NLP at swinger dates and parties
You can apply these basic NLP techniques in one-to-one swinger dating situations, in couple-to-couple meetings or in group conversations when attending a swinger party.
By practising at every opportunity and applying the techniques in a variety of situations, you will increase your ability to build rapport and create sexual chemistry with other singles and couples. Using NLP in this way, will help to make your journey into the swinger lifestyle very successful.
